Why hate a day to show love?

Isn't it ironic that a holiday where people show their love, is actually one of the most hated holidays? I understand that it may disappointing not to have a romantic partner to celebrate with, but that just means you get to celebrate with so many more people! It is a day that you can show love to everyone and people can't call you weird. You are able to show how much you love all your friends! How great is that?! You don't need a romantic partner to make your Valentines Day special! Call up your girlfriends and get dressed up and go out to a nice restaurant, get ice-cream, go see a movie, snuggle up with your cat! Don't mope around wishing you had someone special to celebrate with, because you more than one special someone to celebrate with! 

SO. Valentine's Day is only a month away! I love holidays- they are all so wonderful! When I have a family of my own, I am going to go all out for each of the holidays (just as mommy did with me). I can't wait! Even now, I would buy all of the decorations if I wasn't on a forced budget; this, however will not keep me from celebrating. I have been brainstorming since last Valentine's Day about the Valentine's that I want to make. I am going to make several different kinds and carry a bag around to pass out Valentines to anyone I see. (stay tuned for a blog post about my cards) Everyone deserves to feel special and I just hate it that people let the fact that they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend get in the way of their happiness. And what better way to show them love than with a homemade Valentine?! 

To those of you who get discouraged around this holiday of love, remember that there is a King who is enthralled with your beauty. He desires to know your heart, He will go to great lengths to allow you to get a small taste of His great love for us. Remember that He is the one you should love more than anyone or anything else on this Earth. 

Greater love has no one than this, that He would lay down His life for His friends. John 15:13

The Lord seeks to know you more; share your deepest desires with Him. He won't be surprised or push you away. In fact He will pull you closer  so that you may feel His everlasting love. 

I encourage each of you to rethink Valentine's Day. If it is a day designated for you to be bitter that you don't have a significant other to spend it with, think again. You do have someone special to spend it with! And He has not left your side- we are the ones who want to remain at a safe distance so that we won't get too close. But that is no way to live- you will wear yourself out keeping track of the boundaries you place rather than letting people love you to the extent that they please. You can only be loved to the extent that you are known. The Lord knows you better than you know yourself- so let Him love you completely, unconditionally, with arms outstretched! 

Memories- I don't want to forget any!

This year, is going to be a great year! I am really looking forward to everything this year has in store for me. The Lord has such a wonderful plan for my life- and I am excited to see His plan.

Several of my friends did a Memory Jar last year, each time something happened whether it be a good memory or something funny that happened that day, they wrote it down on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Well, I thought this was a great idea! So I decided to make one for myself.

Instead of going out to buy some fun scrapbook paper to write my memories on, I decided to reuse something! Last summer, I bought a Lilly Pulitzer planner. I thought it was the cutest, ever. It had pretty colors, it was just the right size, I loved it. But I also loved it because Lilly Pulitzer is very popular at school. So, I get to school; I'm sitting in my meeting for Ambassador and I decide to put the events in my new calendar. I pull out my new planner, and begin to write. I then notice another girl pull out the same planner… "Hmm, odd..?" I think to myself- it is probably just a coincidence. Well, then another girl pulls out the planner in a different pattern, and then another, I see them everywhere! The icing on the cake was when the boy beside me pulled one out! (That part was made up for your enjoyment) 

As I go through my first week at school, I see these planners everywhere! Everyone has one. I felt more like a conformist than when I bought my Uggs. This planner needed to go. I didn't like it anymore. It was bulky and I felt as if since I had it, I was just like everyone else. And I didn't (don't) like Lilly Pulitzer that much to begin with. So I decided to be like all the hipsters and get a Moleskine planner. I am so original, right? ;) 

Anyways, I tell you this so you know that I have had an unused Lilly Pulitzer planner laying around for the past year. This is the preface to my crafty extravaganza. 

For this memory jar, I needed fun paper to write my memories on! I couldn't just write them on plain white paper?! So I needed to wait until I got paid because the funds were dwindling since I went to Passion… But I would be missing so many great memories! So one day after class, I get back to my room and I am just feeling very crafty. I love art projects and I love crafting- it relaxes me and soothes my soul. If you don't do it that often, I recommend it! 

As I sit on my bed, raiding my craft box to see if there is any fun scrap book paper- I see the planner sitting on my bookshelf above my bed. I hear the hallelujah chorus sing and I leap to grab this beacon of hope! I begin ripping the pages out with the cute pictures and patterns. I start cutting them out, getting more excited by the minute. I finish cutting and I go into my closet and pull out a spare Mason jar (it is essential for a southern lady to have many spare Mason jars in her closet) and begin to fill it with several memories that have already happened.   

This planner, a beacon of hope for a college student who is on a forced budget, was used to make a memory jar for 2013!

I begin to rip out the pages, I see some of my plans from 2012- I am reminded of a wonderful year filled with growth!

Each of the patterns are so fun! However, I would probably never choose to wear them on my body. I admire the ladies who can pull them off!

As I was ripping out the pages, there were several quotes in the planner that were just a tad bit lame…

Shells are so last year…

Pink and green don't make good disguises! Thats common sense!

Shouldn't it say "Play lemonade stand?"
(I actually believe they may be referring to the fact that Lilly Pulitzer started out but working at a juice stand and would make fun patterned aprons, and her friends/customers were more interested in the aprons rather than the juice)

I'm not sure if this is a good message to be sending to college students… 

These quotes were seen in the beginning of each new month, most of them were pretty lame. I found them to be very worldly… But there were a few that I did like! 

Appreciating animals will NEVER go out of style! 

This one needs little explanation: I love plants, so therefore I love leaves! 

The cutting took a while, but in the end it was well worth it! 

My finished project! I had to play a little catch up and fill in some memories already.

All of the cutting paid off! My hand was very sore, but in the end it was worth it!

This project was a lot of fun! I enjoy being able to reuse things and not have to waste things. I hope after this post you are inspired to reuse old things and to craft more! Both are a habit that will leave you feeling wonderful! 

Struggles

Both me and Molly, my 10 year old sister are dealing with the same thing. It is funny how that seems to be the trend for your relatives. Just like mommy and I are always struggling with the same thing at the same time- I will call her up and tell her whats going on in my life and she will pause and say something like, "That is exactly the same for me." It is amazing how connected I am to my family, even though I am so far away from them. 

I Facetimed Molly today and she answered with tears in her eyes, she didn't try and compose herself as I did before calling her. She had worked so hard on a project and this time their projects were peer-reviewed. Her friends had been very harsh on her and were allowing personal feelings cloud their judgement. Poor Molly. She was heartbroken-  I was listening with tear in my eyes as she went through what they said and how she was scared that her teacher would not give her a good grade. I listened as she worked hard to articulate the emotions her body was feeling. Can you remember when it was hard to put words to how you were feeling? That feeling of not knowing how to express yourself? Feeling as if your friends weren't really your friends?

After Molly finished, I explained that I was dealing with something pretty similar. Since being back at school, I have really missed home. I miss the familiarity of my bed. The squeaks in the hardwood floor, the soft footsteps of my cat Suzie. The warm embrace I receive each day from Molly, her laugh that follows many of my goofy tendencies, her loving gaze- the one where I know she is thinking, "Man, sister is really cool." ;). I miss mommy's bubbly demeanor, always bringing energy in the room until we decide to watch a movie and her energy runs out and she begins to watch her favorite film starring the back of her eyelids. I miss the serenity of looking up at the sky and seeing more stars than I could ever count, hearing those bugs chirping that sooth me to sleep. I miss hearing the rooster as I go get the eggs or venture outside to feel the mountain air against my skin. Oh and the fire place, how I miss the smell of the wood burning. I miss hearing daddy's workboots hit the floor after he has taken them off after a long day at work. Seeing him walk into the kitchen from the mudroom in his signature Carhart pants and shirt, sometimes in as many as three layers! Daddy loves to be warm, and sometimes I think he enjoys sweating! 

All these wonderful things- I have to learn to live without. I have to adjust to not being with them. You can imagine how hard that is for me! They are all such wonderful things! I come back to school and I am around many people who are thrilled to be back at school, but I am still getting used to life without my beautiful family. In this time, I am very sad. And there are things that hurt me more than they normally would because I am so sad about being away from home. As I share with Molly about my struggle she says something that just cracked me up: "On what planet is it ok to leave people out? Like do people think it is ok to do that?!" She heard my laughter and then began to try even harder, which just ended in not being too funny… :) I loved talking to her! I miss her and I cherish her friendship so much. So some of y'all are probably like- ok isn't her sister like half her age? Yes! Thats why Molly is so hilarious! And thats why I love her so dearly! 

Here is a picture from when we were Facetiming- she was saying how she was trying to decide if she liked smiling with teeth or no teeth. She does this smile (below) and says that this is her "I'm in a bad mood but don't feel like telling you smile." I mean, you can't make this stuff up y'all! 

New Beginnings

New beginnings, a fresh start, a clean plate, the new "you"- there are many ways to state a new stage in your life. People have high hopes in the beginning of the year to become a better person, to lose weight or to exercise more, to end a harmful habit and to pick up a more beneficial habit instead. Many of these things I hope for myself! I have plans to be a better person and to not buy into consumerism or live for others. This, however is more easier said than done. (I will keep you updated). I also would like to blog more… a little confused as to why because I don't really think I have too many people jumping up and down to catch a glimpse of my blog, but hey- I can dream big! 

Today marked the start of new classes, actually my last semester as an undergraduate! A really weird feeling. As I walked to my first class, I thought of when my parents left me at college in between the thoughts of me not getting my desired seat. To my luck and quick pace, I made it to my seat- the one I wanted. I also continued my thoughts of my first year at college. It was the weirdest feeling to see them walk away and know that I was away from them! I remember where I saw them last, what I was wearing, and looking back a second too late to notice that they were out of my view. It was scary, I was all by myself now. My family would be going back to Asheville and I would be staying in the Piedmont area in High Point, NC. I managed, and went through a lot that year. I grew up, I become a woman. I dealt with things that happened in my past, I grieved, I laughed, I thought, I cried, I learned about the party scene, I cried some more, and I definitely laughed some more,  I studied more then than I believe I did in all of my college career. I was excited about life. I was still a young girl, I still had my slim figure as I did in high school, I was very different than I am now. In ways I have become a much mature adult, but in other ways I have developed more negative characteristics. But I have learned so much! I have learned to recognize things in my life that I never knew how to recognize four years ago. I commend myself for growing so much! I tend to focus only on the things that I dislike about myself, but I have some very good qualities as well. These need to be recognized as well! I am growing this year, I can feel it in my bones.

2013. The year I graduate from college. The year I get my first adult job. The year I live for only The Lord and not for men. The year I learn to not love the world. The year I do not victimize myself. The year I realize I am worthy of another man's love. The year I do not fear being hurt. The year I also guard my heart. The year I start treating my body the way it deserves to be treated. The year I to live with my hands open, not holding onto things in my life. The year I love whole-heartedly the people The Lord has called me to pursue. The year I whole-heartedly love myself for who I am and not who I want to become. The year I give to others, rather than wanting more. The year I do not try and be someone "attractive" via social media sites. The year I limit my time on social media, using it for connecting to others NOT comparing to others. The year I grow more into the woman The Lord desires me to be. 

A little motivation...

Well… I was in need of a little motivation! So I organized a dance party for myself. Anyone can do it; and I can show you how! 

1. Watch this video to give yourself motivation-

2. Repeat aloud 10 times, "I like myself!" while standing in Mountain Pose (feet planted firmly on the earth, with each of your digits making contact; good posture, and hands at heart center)

3. Listen to "Girl on Fire" and sing in the mirror like Alicia Keys

4. Listen to a second song, I chose "Home" by Phillip Phillips. But any song of choice that will get you up and dancing around your room without a care in the world will do!

5. Smile for the rest of the day. 

6. Accomplish that to-do list! (but don't let it define you!!!) 

Rock on readers, ROCK ON. 

Thoughts on Life...

Recently, my thoughts have all been geared towards life. And not just reflecting, but trying to figure out my life. My purpose, my strengths, my weaknesses, my goals. So far, there have been a lot of things I would like to do. And the more I think about my scary-very-close-and-becoming-SO-real-future, I can conclude that there are many things that I would like to do! And I am pretty good at coming up with my ideal future and just hoping that it will happen, and then my Savior gently reminds me that He has something so much greater in store for me. This can be a double edged sword sometimes, and I write to you all with all honesty. There are things in my life that I desire so deeply! I can convince myself that they are things that I NEED, I picture them in my future and when I take them out, my future can become this lifeless, and colorless picture. Humanly I have many desires and I currently am in a state where I see those desires as a necessity. Especially now, as my future is near and is becoming so much of a reality, I want to cling very tightly to the things I want to control. However, it seems the more I cling and the tighter I hold, the more out of control things seem.

For someone like myself: a list-maker, a planner, and someone who is lost without their planner (or now my iPhone), I like to know whats going on. I want to know my next step, my future plans, where I will be in a year, and (this is a very girly one) when will I get to see who my husband is? These questions have been a never-ending, very vicious cycle in my mind lately. And I become such a bitter women after I forcefully end the cycle of daunting questions about my life, I want things to go my way! But the more I think about it, the more I see things going in a different direction than I had planned or hoped.

Each decision I make, each choice about my next course of action, seems like I am deciding the fate of our galaxy. I see myself not presented with a fork in the road with two or three choices but I find myself on a road that has led me to an intersection that has about 15 different options and each of them determine the course of my life. Where to go next? Which road should I choose? And what if I don't succeed? The always present "what-if" questions become very loud, and the funny thing is; I am the one who is saying them? No one around me is asking these questions that infer that I may fail? So why do I insist on being so self-defeating? That's the million dollar question right there.

So what decision do I make? What road is the right one for me to take? May my prayer be that the Lord may comfort me and surround me in His peace.

iPhone or iHandicappedbyiPhone?

I'm a goal oriented woman. I love goals! And I love lists too… My lists are normally what help me accomplish my goals, so they go hand in hand. Sometimes, it's hard for me to complete my goals though. Recently I have found this to be very true. Why? Why cannot I not complete my goals? My inability to finish my goals is evident in the list of books that remain unfinished on my shelf. An unfinished, unread book?! Blasphemy! I cannot fathom why I can't finish a book. And it's not like they are poor written books, they are wonderful books written by incredible authors. C.S. Lewis, Hemingway, Harper Lee… So many pages filled with knowledge and insight and I can't seem to finish any of them! What is my deal-io, YO?! Well, after much thinking and figuring I realized I can blame this on my possession of an iPhone. I have become so distracted from everything. I can't sit down without and read without wondering if I missed a tweet or if someone liked my artsy Instagram photo or if I should capture this moment of me "reading" by taking a picture via Instagram to post and show everyone just how well-rounded I am.  I can't even go to bed without refreshing my Twitter feed, checking my Instagram and catching up on my Words with Friends or Draw Something games… And by that point, I am too tired to read a book. So what can I do to fix this? Hmmmm…

Option 1: Get rid of iPhone. HA. Yeah freakin right! I heart my iPhone and I am certain I would be *literally* lost without being able to use google maps. Everything bit of information I could possibly ever want to know is at my fingertips, but I would much rather have a page that belongs to a good book at my fingertips.

Option 2: Self control. Maybe I could use self-control..? I may need to develop some more of it first though.

Option 3: Limit my use. Well, I believe this goes hand-in-hand with Option 2, but I felt lame only having 2 options. So I made another. So what could my boundaries be? No apps after a certain time? Maybe I could delete my Twitter and FB apps? I mean I have them on this very computer that I am typing on! I could allow myself to only check/use my phone for other uses than text messaging/calling peeps, for a limited amount of time. And when I am reading I could put my phone somewhere else. So what if I miss out on a witty Tweet about my whereabouts or miss a text message from a friend (which are rare LOL). My life has become centered around technology, I really do become anxious if I am to be away from my phone for an extended amount of time. For instance, if I am doing yard work and I need to leave my phone inside I wonder how many Tweets I am missing or how many Instagrammed moments I won't be able to see immediately. So, I believe this is something that needs to happen! I believe that I have much more possibilities if I wasn't so handicapped by my phone.

People, take heed! Challenge yourself just as I am to limit your phone use. Real talk, how annoying is it when you are with someone and they just keep checking their phone? Like serrriously, are they waiting on an invite to hang out or do something more interesting that spending time with you? What a disgrace, I mean I am tons of fun! So who would want to check their phone for updates when I am enough entertainment as it is? ;)

Stay cool, my friends.