Business

Well hello there long lost Blog! How have you been? Do you feel neglected? Sad? Tired? I do too, I feel ya. But at least we have each other!

I have been so incredibly busy with these past few weeks of schoolwork and I hate it! Not only because I have so much work but also because I haven't had the time to do the things that I love! Such as hanging out with friends, spending time together just hanging out.  Those are the best times. The times where you just sit with your friends because there is no other place you would rather be at that moment than with your friends.  If it wasn't for my friends then I don't know what I would do with my life...I sort of got a glimpse of it while I was so busy I didn't see much of anyone but my room-mates and my school books--what a life?! NOT.

With all this stress, I find time to do the things that I think are most important and that often times means putting Jesus on the back-burner. But He has never failed me. He loves me through the hard times, He encourages me when times are tough and He shows me how to live a life worth living--a life that is centered around Him.  The times that I sit with him and just be with Him are the best times.  Just to listen, to learn, and to reflect on my life and to have my cup refilled with a Chai Latte made with Soy. I have come to the point in my life that I do  not want to live my life being someone I'm not.  I was created to live in accordance with the Lord, and that is what I'll do! There is no better life, really!

Practice Makes Perfect

Paper writing. I have never been good at writing papers. Never. I have always struggled with them and always wait until the last minute to write, just like tonight for instance. I have a paper due by 11:45 tomorrow, have I finished? Nahhh. Still in the works. But I am muchhh closer than I was at 4:30 this afternoon when I sat for an HOUR trying to make myself type words about History. It didn't work out. I didn't actually start until about 10:30, not a good idea! I don't know how long it is going to take me to realize that I probs should start my papers a bit earlier. But I don't wannnaaa! Waaaah. Geez, how are writing papers supposed to further me in my education? Just let me give you a presentation, I'll ace that! I love presentations, they are the best.  I do so well on them and I enjoy doing them.  But I don't go to school to do things I am already good at, I wish it was that simple!  It's not though :( I have to do things that are hard to make myself a better person--or paper writer. I like instructions, outlines, guides on how to write the paper; none of this brainstorming nonsense.  Don't trick me teachers, tell me what to do and I'll do it.  Don't give me the assignment and then expect me to exceed the requirements by a billion and then keep going. Give me a break!  I wish I didn't have such apathy about school, I am trying so hard to NOT let it get the better of me.  I hope it doesn't because if it does, I will be ruined and then you will have no more Blogs to read in order to be entertained.

It's Valentine's Day..?

After my last post of about three minutes ago, I saw the date.  It's Valentine's Day.  yay. I have never actually hated Valentine's Day, I just have normally looked forward to when I would have someone to make over me...it will happen in the future.  But for now, I will be just fine with my Mommy's Valentine's :) She gave me a love fern this year, of course it is in no nature close to a fern, but I just want to call it that to be festive. 

I also dream about what my Valentine's Day date might go like...it could either go great, or be a disaster.  I hope for the first, or maybe the latter; which one would be more memorable?  Maybe a complete disaster, I mean I would never forget it?! But I will not bore anyone with silly daydreams, rather I don't want to embarrass myself.

So Happy Valentine's Day to all you cute, adorable, in-love couples out there who are spending this evening with the one they care most about.  For me, it's Biology tonight...first test of the semester tomorrow. yay. I'm sort of a player tonight, after Biology I have History anddd then English.  I might try and sqeeze in Chemistry ;) but he miiiight have to wait until tomorrow.  But you know what they say? Love first, think later. Totally unrelated, but this is my blog and I make the rules here.

I can't keep my Valentine's Dates waiting anyyy longer. Byeee!

It's been a while.

Hello long lost blog!  I almost forgot what you looked like! And I'm sure you didn't recognize me either because I've lost 5 pounds since I last saw you (not really, but I am aiming for that) I really am, and it is so incredibly hard to break old habits that are so comforting.  Such as ice-cream from the Cafe, or french fries, or sweet tea.  But it has got to happen, this girl needs a reform and needs to drop 10 pounds ASAP.  Why can't things that are deep fried and delicious help you lose weight? That is question. But I already know the answer and I don't want to admit it to myself or hold myself accountable.  So I have decided that I am going to limit carbs and sugar...*ugh*.  But I know that this is what has got to happen, I need to help my body out because in a hectic stressful routine the last thing I need to worry about is my pants fitting.  I know this is the internet and pretty much everyone has access to this, but I think blogging about it will help me be held accountable.  So hear it goes, wish me luck. I really am going to need it.

...but I think I need to go buy some cute workout clothes first, right? Ahhh I am just procrastinating...

Total Young Life Move

Knowing everyone you see while wearing Chacos with socks, a Patagonia fleece and a Kavu bag all while having Frisbee moves better than the people in the Tron movie, TYLM (Total Young Life move, follow them on Twitter. Hilarious.) My friends and I used this all weekend--it was so fun, and hilarious.

This weekend I had the opportunity to serve the Young Life leaders and committee members of the Tar heel Region. How fun?! And what an honor?! It was a great time. Young Life has always been a very big part of my life, and I hope that it will continue to always be close to my heart.  But my prayer is that my love for Young Life will not get in the way of my love for Jesus.  I often find myself loving Young Life more than I love the man it's all about, Jesus.  But I do believe that Young Life is a great way to bring Jesus Christ into the lives of high schoolers, middle schoolers, and college students. And that's what it is all about, Jesus--Who is my Daddy. :)  That was what the speaker spoke on this weekend, knowing your Daddy. 

It was so good to get refreshed and have my cup refilled.  I love serving, but everyone needs to have their life replenished time and time again. 

The speaker also spoke on forgiveness. Now when it comes to forgiveness I am like a pendulum, one extreme or another.  I will either forgive too easily, without a second thought or I will hold a grudge till my face turns blue.  I struggle more with the later, I hate to admit.  My stubbornness comes from wanting to make others feel how they made me feel when they hurt me. I think a better word would be revenge. I want revenge! That sounds so savage when put to words, and in a way it is! It is our human nature to want to make others feel bad about themselves or the decisions they have made that have affected the people around them.  But there also comes a freedom from forgiving someone for hurting you.  All I want to do is hold on to my hurt and constantly think to myself, how could they do something like that to me? Do they even care about anyone else but themselves? But letting go of this hurt is very freeing; forgiving someone for something they did to you. It's hard! Don't get me wrong, but holding on to this hurt doesn't make things any easier and it sure doesn't make life more enjoyable.  I forgave someone this weekend, I won't mention their name because this is the Internet you know? Anyone can read what I'm posting which at this moment really creeps me out. I forgave someone who hurt me, hurt me really bad.  It was hard, and I didn't want to do it. I wanted to keep holding on to that hurt so that I could have a huge pity party that has lasted for way too long. Now of course, I didn't have this party everydayyy; just everyday that ended in "y". ;) But seriously, I didn't.  Just when things weren't looking too good and I needed something to be mad about--classy right? I can't believe I just admitted that, but I'm certain I'm not the only person who struggles with this.  I was only focused on me, and that shouldn't be the case.   And when it comes to my pendulum of forgiveness, I think I should be more prone to forgive others.  Jesus gives me second chances ALL the time, and I often never deserve them. 

So forgive. Forgive so that you may live freely.  And love, for love conquers all (sooo cheesy, but it's true.)  So blog world, whoever chooses to read my ramblins', I hope you read this and learn from my mistakes that I have made many times.

Is it that big of a deal?

After my last post about nothingness and selfish thoughts, something tragic happened. A girl, Cassie Hill, who is one year older than me at High Point University passed away. She was a sister of the Alpha Gamma Delta Sorority, and I have only heard positive things about her. She died very unexpectedly due to a brain aneurysm. There was nothing that could have been done to prevent this, it could have happened to anyone.  Anyone.  Life is too fragile to worry about things that are out of your control and to complain about things that in the long run, are a pebble in your journey of life.  What is the point when such terrible things are happening around us and we are worried about how much weight we need to lose or how we really need to have a boyfriend or how we wish that everything was about one person, ourselves.  Everyone is concerned about only themselves; but what would happen if everyone worried about everyone else?  What if for one day we eliminated the word, "I"?  How much could we say? My first thought in the morning today was who text messaged me while I was asleep? Really Megan? Coooomee onnn! So my goal for tomorrow and for the rest of the my journey through life is to worry about OTHER people, because I am certain that so many more people have it SO much worse than I do today.  I will love, I will be patient, I will be humbled by the never ending grace of Jesus and I will aim to show others the peace I find in Him. 

I did not know Cassie, but my prayers are for her friends, her family, her teachers and everyone she has touched in her life.  Seeing so many people affected by her death gives me the desire to live life to the fullest and not look back. 

So are my problems really that big of a deal?  Right now. No. Not a chance. 

Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember it is all small stuff.