Not my cup of Tea.

I love tea. Especially green tea. I like to go the whole 9 yards when it comes to tea and not just get the tea bags; don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good tea bags out there! But I like to pretend that I live in a English place where they enjoy afternoon tea. So I myself, enjoy afternoon tea.  Not everyday though, but I try to atleast several times a week. It is hard to sit down with nothing else to do and just drink a few cups of tea. I mean who has time for that!?  I make time--sometimes...It really is a very relaxing, and calming thing to do! And so often we are on the run, or literally running (which I hate) that we miss the simple things in life. Like sitting down with nothing else, no music, no computer, no t.v., just silence.  People don't like silence because it says too much. True dat.  When I have my quiet times, I feel so refreshed.  One can only think about others and give all their effort to other people without feeling like and empty tea cup--empty.  It is so nice to sit down for a few minutes and just be silent.  Many people may journal or they may just let their thoughts wander and some poeple will pick up a paint brush and paint.  Silence.  What a concept?  It's the first of the year and many people want to turn over a new leaf, lose weight, quit smoking, run a 5k (or in my case crawl over the finish line), and start going to church again or find a church to go to, enjoy life more, get out of debt etc. The list is always the same. Never changes.  But by the end of this year I bet many people will be just trying to get through the rest of the year without losing their minds!  This year, my New Years Resolution is to be the BEST I can be in every aspect of my life.  This ties into my moments of silence I try to enjoy everyday.  When I'm silent, I spend it with this great guy Jesus.  Each day I strive to be the best follower of Him I can be.  And most days I fail, but he is there at the end of the day smiling back at me saying, "Good job today, Megan. You did great."  Throughout the day He doesn't leave me stranded to figure things out myself, nope.  He helps me; He is the little voice in my head that softly reminds me to have a soft-heart, to love others, to be patient, and to follow Him blindly.  It's hard, and most days I wonder why He hasn't given up on me. 

A part of being the best I can be, also means taking care of my body.  And to do this, I have been going to the gym with my room mate Catie to work out which is by no means my cup of tea!  Catie is a workout Queen, long legs, stamina, and endurance.  Me on the other hand, I have short legs that have a hard time moving, especially on the treadmill, no stamina and I often times feel as if my throat is closing up on me, NBD really! While working out, I often feel like this cat with a melon on his head.  Annoyed. How do you explain to someone that is athletic what it feels like to be out of shape?  You can't. It's like trying to explain to someone who has been in a relationship for most of their life, how single people feel. Not possible.  They may give you encouraging words but in the back of your mind you are thinking, "I wish it was that simple."  When working out, I have a hard time. All the time.  And I don't think it has always been this way, only when I realized that carbs really can solve all of your problems--all you have to do is eat!  But I continue to go, and I continue "to get better at working out"  Now I normally keep my frustrations to myself, but I had a melt down the other day.  The story begins with jump roping.  We were going to do 50 jumps of rope and then run two laps around the track and continue for four times.  So we begin jumping: one (not to bad!), two (I kind of like this!), three (why don't I do this more often?), four (gosh, I should be on a jump roping team.), trip. No big deal! I'll just start over. Ok, I can do this, its just a rope and I am just jumping.  I get to six this time, I'll try again. I can do this!  Catie gives me some pointers, I take them into consideration. I get to five, great one less than last time. I'm getting worse. I start to feel sad, I'm a failure! Catie can do it! Why can't I do it?!  Keep trying, keep messing up. Start to get really annoyed. I hate doing things I am bad at! Why can't I be athletic? So all of this boils up, Catie's pointers, my unathleticness, why am I out of breath?, this stupid rope keeps getting caught in my feet, I wish I could do this better!, I quit.  I wanted my mommy at this point, she always makes me feel better.  But I had to run a lap around the track, great.  I was mad, and it was apparent.  I hate being mad, it makes people so uncomfortable and I feel so awful afterwards and I just want to take back all my angry actions.  But you can't do that, you know?  What's done is done.  I tell this story to show you that I hate doing things I am bad at.  I don't like to admit defeat.  I want to be strong and fix everything, but I can't.  I started thinking while I was doing the stair-master, that I don't show others Jesus like I should--that is something I do bad! I want other people to see Jesus in my everyday life, I want them to know how great and loving He is!  I aim for my life to be a reflection of His love.  I want to be the BEST I can be.  I want to know Him more, and I want to follow Him blindly through my life wherever He may take me.